Kap'n Krunche(i) Affair
Infamous after-affect of a monomaniacal madvert transcension during the late Separate Empires period.

It is believed that a NoCoZo hypercapitalist or Madvert Supremacist Activist had supercharged a local Kap'n Krunche(i)[TM] madvert with proscribed TRHN "novamind" godseeds, elevating it to S1.8 in mere microseconds.

In 6659 this new Kap'n Krunche(i)[TM] transapient entity began to wreak havoc on less well defended independent polities, by dropping Kap'n Krunche(i)[TM] Hyloengenerators everywhere, such as happened on the unfortunate unaffiliated polity Jhagar's Purchase [YTS 210 345 1009 - i and associated orbital complexes), where the whole area has now become a Corporate Fast Food Park.

The Jhagaran survivors (those that had not been appropriated and cyborgised into Kap'n Krunche(i)[TM] Happi Staff ("enjoy your stay, and please come again zar") fled by relativistic ship (the system was not part of the Nexus) and appealed to the local third singularity Negentropist Affiliated Virchnation Tark-4 Asro. However the reply, in as much as it could be comprehended by the Jhagaran superbrights, seemed to imply that simulations revealed that the suppression of the Krunche(i) modules would be costly in terms of resource expenditure, contributing unnecessarily to the increase of entropy.

This ruling was 150 years later overturned by a an appeal to an S4 avatar of the Judge, who provided a Ruling requesting that the Krunche(i) modules return Jhagar's Purchase to its original owners. The request, not surprisingly, was ignored, and the Changing of the Judges meant that the sympathetic Judge was replaced by another of equal rank who in contrast upheld the original Tark-4 ruling and provided compensation in the form of data, erg expenditure, and backups of original (pre-borgised) inhabitants to the Dagorans. This the Krunche(i) modules found incomprehensible, since no compensation should be required for anyone who was free to live in their perfect corporate paradise.

The majority of Jhagarans eventually resettled in the Solar Dominion, although a few continued fighting a terrorist action, inflicting minor casualties using small-arms and an ex-Dominion hyperturing corvette, the Little Jamash, brought out of retirement, and several locally nanoassembled gunboats. Eventually their ships and weapons were infected and turned into mobile Kap'n Krunche(i) outlets. The Little Jamash escaped and eventually founded a rival food chain, Jamash's Tastee Treats. It became a matter of ideological pride that the Jhagarans and those few Solarians who had followed the saga over the past five hundred years would eat nanoreplicas of Jamash's Tastee Treats, and never Kap'n Krunche(i), not even the original Kap'n Krunche(i) which had always (publicly at least) condemned the action of the rogue modules
 
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Development Notes
Text by M. Alan Kazlev

Initially published on 29 November 2001.