To match up with the sadistic 'in' crowd, Biophage Inc offers the Screamaphone. It is a series of small independent biological creatures with a very low S-factor intellect. These creatures are fully mature, and the user can expect 15 to 25 years' usage from a Biophage Screamaphone.
The user stimulates each organism by the method of their choice, evoking pure tone from each. Note that they are arranged in a pentatonic scale due to technical difficulties achieving a full 'normal' octave. These beings are surprisingly resilient and gratifyingly sensitive.
Plus, the instrument, while not sentient, is capable of being trained to play a given tune via negative feedback methods. This takes a skilled, firm hand, and a self-playing Screamaphone is a mark of the true master.
The rumors of this being stolen from the Snake's Mouse Organ are greatly exaggerated.
Text by John B
Initially published on 31 December 2007.