-~Hold it!~ Magda's voice was like a shout inside Jenessa's head.
~You're doing a lot of misinterpreting. Mythologizing. There's no need
to tell your people anything. But Kadzin and I need for you to find out
what's happened to us. When you do, you might find answers for yourself
too.~
"How do I know you aren't shapechangers? You've given us this sickness,
forcing us to hear you."
~Not so. We have no way to do anything to you. It sounds like
nano— maybe bionano— has been building augments
into your brain and nervous system. Whoever sent that data transmission
about Nimbus is probably responsible. But . . .Kadzin, none of that has
anything to do with the Wanderling.~
~Um. Mag, we can't be sure it doesn't. We can't be sure of anything.~
Then he continued, ~Jenessa, can you think of anything that might have
brought on your — sickness?~
"There was a light, in the Landsend Range. I knew it was most likely a
lightning fire. None of our people would have gone into the mountains.
We keep to the low plains and forest. It was such a strange place to
see a light. I just wanted to know what it was."
Jenessa shrugged, and glanced at Erel. "That's the way I am. I couldn't
go far enough to find it though. And the next day, I knew something was
wrong with me. I had no idea how wrong."
~The Wanderling must have crashed and burned!~ Jenessa could hear the
panic in Magda's words.
~Could you find the place where you saw the light?~ Kadzin asked.
"Probably. We've already come closer than I did that day. We're in the
foothills. But that - transmission—" Jenessa's
mouth felt awkward, saying the strange word "It made Meera sick again.
We can't move her."
The voices seemed to have no answer for her, though they talked swiftly
between themselves.
Erel took a candle from his pack, lit it, and set it on a metal trivet.
Jenessa wanted to express her gratitude for the small
comfort it gave, but then her awareness was driven far away from the
lean-to by the streaming images of another transmission.
When it ended, she knew the world had changed for her, though she could
express not one word of it to Erel. Her lips and throat were numb, as
if from too many things crowding there, waiting to be spoken.
She crawled out of the lean-to, then walked through the trees until she
found a clearing where nothing encumbered her view of the sky.
Stars. She knew their true nature now, and she knew that each one had
some name or designation. Such knowledge alone would have seemed
miraculous, if there had not been so much more.
Jenessa heard the dry crackle of footsteps among the leaves and twigs.
She lowered her gaze from the sky and saw Meera moving into the open
space.
The child's face turned up. Her voice was little more than a whisper.
"How can so many kinds of things be out there?" She asked.
Jenessa felt grateful for the wind as it whipped through scraggly trees
along the narrow pass, then cooled her face and
crest. It sharpened her senses, strengthened her feelings of embodiment.
Helped her to realize she wasn't likely to disintegrate into a cloud of
molecules.
"Molecules. Until today I had never heard the word. But they've always
been here, making up my skin and bones and blood."
"And inside the molecules are atoms, and each atom has a nucleus," said
Meera. "But even if I change into a Nimbian, you
can't see the atom's nucleus."
"Is that what the two of you are going to do next, change into . .
.Nimbians?" Erel asked.
Jenessa thought she detected anger hidden beneath his bantering tone.
She glanced over her shoulder, hoping to think of some joking thing to
say. But she saw his hands holding tight to the saddle, his crest
swollen and red. She pulled the reins of her beast, and waited until he
moved alongside her. "It's time to stop and rest," she said.
"No. Not again. I can go on." He told her.
"It's not much farther— around the next bend, and up. But I
was thinking of myself as well as you, Erel. I wouldn't mind another
delay. I dread finding . . . whatever it is we'll find."
"Don't you already know? I thought you knew everything now?"
Then Erel sighed. He managed a half-grin. "Sorry. But you've changed so
much, Jen. And I know you can't ever go back to being the girl I grew
up with."
"I'm not different in every way." She reached out to touch his face
with her fingertips, but he flinched away. "You're changing too," she
told him. "Soon you'll be able to hear Magda and Kadzin. And there will
be more transmissions. I do know that. You'll hear them too."
"You'll see the Nimbians," Meera said. "I think it would be fun to
change into a cloud and make myself any color I wanted to be. And then
I'd float."
Jenessa caught his glance. "She sees everything as if it were some
wonderful new game. I envy her."
"And how do you see it, Jen?"
She shook her head. "I don't know. It is exciting— all this
knowledge. But it's hard to fit things together in the right way.
Nothing seems the same as it was the day I left town. I was always so
sure the shapechangers couldn't be real. But they were. Though they
weren't supernatural monsters. Some of them were our own ancestors who
wanted a different kind of life. They came here, to this world. They
knew what it was like here. Others of their kind had transformed the
planet during some earlier experiment. So they made themselves into . .
.us. Our people. Just the sort of people to live here."
Jenessa looked down at her hand and tried to imagine it falling into
tiny pieces. "I don't think that will happen," she said softly, her
voice hinting at uncertainty.
Erel's expression showed his bewilderment.
"I don't think we'll turn into Nimbians. But I'm not sure."
Erel started to speak, stopped, then began again, "No wonder you feel
dread."
She nodded. "But some of what I feel comes from them — Magda
and
Kadzin. They're afraid to find out how they fit into our world, the
shapechangers world. But they have no choice. They have to know."
Jenessa and Erel gazed at one another through several heart beats,
until she felt Meera stir restlessly behind her.
Then she made a clucking sound in her throat, telling the flest to move
forward, and it did so. She led the way beneath an overhang of pale,
striated rock, then rounded the natural bend in the path. The flest
clambered with difficulty upward through a gap in the rock, and passed
a line of slender-boled trees.
They came into a meadow. Jenessa heard Erel's gasp and Meera's whoop of
delight.
"So. There it is," Jenessa said. She had almost known there would be a
ship.
~But it isn't the Wanderling,~ Kadzin said.
The finality in his voice saddened Jenessa. She wanted to hold out some
hope to him, but didn't know how.
~All those huge spines! That ship's nothing like our graceful
Wanderling. It has nothing to do with us,~ Magda declared. ~ But she
has to be nearby— somewhere. Doesn't she? How else could we
be here?
