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Proof-reading EG - Printable Version

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RE: Proof-reading EG - Rynn - 08-27-2016

Thanks for these. I'll take a whack at updating these.


RE: Proof-reading EG - stevebowers - 08-27-2016

Quote:Some similar articles which seem to need to be revised (if only slightly) include...
I'm not quite clear on what (slight) amendments need to be made in these articles. Is there an inconsistency or hiatus we need to address? I'm just interested to see what inconsistencies we are looking for (your recommendations have been very good so far).


RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 08-27-2016

Steve,

In the discussion of botmates at http://www.orionsarm.com/forum/showthread.php?tid=2366, it came up that the sticky ethical issue of slaved ais had been replaced by the use of non-conscious vots in OA. However, the articles that I found which mention ai slavery still refer to such slaves in the present tense, as if they were still being used to support the majority of current Terragen civilization. I think that most of those articles can be retconed by describing their examples of ai slavery as having been replaced by vot usage in one way or another. I must admit that I didn't try to give much thought as to what modifications might be appropriate for each of the articles that I found. Presumably there are still going to be a few locations in the Periphery where such usage is condoned, but I'm sure that they'll be quashed as the Nexus expands into those areas.


RE: Proof-reading EG - stevebowers - 08-27-2016

I see. Thanks; AI and hyperturing slavery may have been commonplace in the early scenario, but non-conscious vots will have replaced them for most purposes in the Current Era. And maybe AI slaves still persist in some, or many, of the wilder parts of the periphery.

Perhaps Rynn can make these edits better than I, since Vots are his concept. I'll concentrate on the other edits.


RE: Proof-reading EG - stevebowers - 08-27-2016

I've amended the Ilahlu Barrier, The Perseus Princes and the Mutual Progress Association.


RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 08-27-2016

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b3bbdc13805
Interstellar Trade

down at the very bottom, the link
http://eg.orionsarm.com/fm_store/RTTCalc.htm
Relativity Calculator

generates the error message

Server not found
Firefox can't find the server at eg.orionsarm.com.


RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 08-27-2016

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/5624484e9ce65
Void Pocket

A void pocked is a Fifth Singularity
should be
A void pocket is a Fifth Singularity

left to drift thru the vacuum
should be
left to drift through the vacuum


RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 08-27-2016

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4b76a3e624ba6
Void Swarms

void swarms are the „fingers of the gods"
should be
void swarms are the "fingers of the gods"

for consistency
with more 'esoteric' modosophonts.
should be
with more "esoteric" modosophonts.


RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 08-27-2016

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47f6f3257350a
Virds and Vats

allowed to make with the colonist's genome.
should be
allowed to make with the colonists' genome.
or perhaps
allowed to make with the colony's genome.


Because this particular tweak is exceedingly well adapted
should be
Because these particular tweaks are exceedingly well adapted

mix of tense:

Almost all of the other structures had been reduced to undifferentiated rubble - nanotech disassemblers were used when the lease ended. However, a few structures partially escaped destruction. Most are extremely tall and originally exceeded 2 km in height. All of these remaining structures are partially filled with partially ruined devices of unknown function. These buildings also extend at least 500 m underground (they are build of hyper-strong materials that can withstand Graymalkin's frequent seismic activity). The lower levels connect to long straight tunnels that seem to have connected the various structures. The tunnels range between 0.3 and 10 meters in diameter. Most tunnels have been destroyed and collapsed by disassemblers. However, in two cases, 5 meter in diameter tunnels still connect partially intact structures.

should be

Almost all of the other structures had been reduced to undifferentiated rubble: nanotech disassemblers had been used when the lease ended. However, a few structures partially escaped destruction. Most were extremely tall and originally exceeded two km in height. All of these remaining structures were partially filled with ruined devices of unknown function. These buildings were built of hyper-strong materials that could withstand Graymalkin's frequent seismic activity and extended at least 500 m underground. Their lower levels connected to long straight tunnels that seemed to have connected the various structures. The tunnels ranged between 0.3 and 10 meters in diameter. Most tunnels had been destroyed and collapsed by disassemblers. However, in two cases, 5 meter diameter tunnels still connected partially intact structures.


RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 08-28-2016

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/493edf03965d4
Ship Design: Shielding

and in addiction it was active
should be
and in addition it was active