Proof-reading EG - Printable Version +- The Orion's Arm Universe Project Forums (https://www.orionsarm.com/forum) +-- Forum: Offtopics and Extras; Other Cool Stuff (https://www.orionsarm.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=2) +--- Forum: Suggestion Box - OA website (https://www.orionsarm.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +--- Thread: Proof-reading EG (/showthread.php?tid=678) Pages:
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RE: Proof-reading EG - MyTrueNameIs - 11-01-2017 The article "Computronium Bell-curve Theory" ends with "or the appetite of black holes with certain appetite." using the word "appetite" twice is a little repetitive and slightly confusing I recommend changing it to " or the appetite of black holes with a certain hunger." http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/484f2c25bfcbe RE: Proof-reading EG - Avengium - 11-08-2017 http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/46d4d166cfc6d New Taylor The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Mutual Aggression Deterrence Accord was signed to form the Sophic League in 2314. Reformulationists , enlightenment. Doubt: There were Mysterians in New Taylor and vicinities or not? Suggestion: changing capital for "modosophont capital" http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4911a49ba4b44 Sacred Heart Typo: business business. The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic League, New Taylor, mercurian type planet, Praesepe region, Taurus Nexus breakup, thriving city-planet with a full 16 wormholes, Version War, Wormhole Nexus, virtual warzones of gang warfare and the home of the black market, spaceports , orbital band , Suggestion: changing capital for "modosophont capital" http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/45f7561809fd0 Ararat The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: high toposophic , nearbaselines , Mysterians ( http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47bb8b1eea5cf ) , Terragen , New Madray , http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/55784e51e87b3 Orobon The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: white dwarf , Main Sequence stars, biont , near-baseline , Mysterian, Huxlyite sect, Huxlyism, hedonism , http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47bb8b1eea5cf Mysterian Needs more text. For example a backlink to Orobon article inside the text. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4782f4d9c69a2 Satyaloka The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic League , starlifted , virtual universes and heavens , high toposophic node worlds , New Taylor , Sacred Heart , [see also The Three and the One, and The Transcension of Andapuyaran] . Three and the One, The - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic League , dyson shells , high toposophic , http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47a538311fe2b Transcension of Andapuyaran The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic League , orwood , avatar , eir [pronouns] , transcended into nirvana with yogic calm , remotes , subminds , high toposophic mind , habitat section , augments , godseeds , splice , nexus , small and sparsly equipped shuttle , wormhole terminus , wormhole ai , transcension , ISO , panvirt ai , http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4605cdc1ed095 Anandayanna Nirvana The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic League , Seven Anandayannas , Transcension of Andapuyaran . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/45f0d7dce0d46 Anandayanna-Uvartarasha War The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Suborg , relativistic seed-node , Kupier mining expedition , eir clone-siblings , godtech , Oort Cloud , relativistic ship , subverted , hider clades , Version War , backups , orbitals , higher toposophic level , hyperturings , memetic , Avatar . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/478566ec00daa Seven Anandayannas, The The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: First toposophic neogens , transcended Hyperturing , transapient , Clade , Computronium nodes. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/45f9ae520ede5 Ashram The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: habitat , planet , noetic , memetic , higher state or toposophic . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/466f45b088faf Kelarc The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: the Reformulation , Sophic League , Ontology , xenobiological. I suggest adding some related articles to Kelarc. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4b8feb3387407 Garden of Paradise Cluster The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Ararat , Old Earth , Mysterians , Hamilton Institute , photosynthesis , microecologies , http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/483f6b32dc5af Fractal Brotherhood, The The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Buddhistic , Sophic League , deep space , the sects of inconsequence , nirvana , http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4786e2b8b7f75 Sophism (Sophic League) The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sufism and cybersufism , Stella Umma, Neotaoism , Penglai Empire, habitats, Buddhist , the Questionings of the Universal Church, Genetekker biotantra, Hermeticism, Etodism, Cosmism, Nuagism, and more. spiritual transcendence , old Earth , Empires period , memeticity , habitats , Nexus , clade and phyle , diamondoid , Hermeticism, Hermeticist - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: phyle , middle first Federation , Old Earth , emanationist cosmology , zones of thought (also called sephirot) , Cyberhermeticism , toposophic or singularity grade , Neohermeticism , sephirah . Sophic Materialism - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: pantheistic or spiritual-materialist mystical, religious, or esoteric path common in the Sophic League, the TRHN . Samsara - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4642840424e08 Cosmism Typo: alter --> later. Suggested changes: "21st and 22nd centuries of the Earth common era." --> Old Earth. Also AT. psycho-historical reconstruction. --> cliological. Add related articles section. The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: pantheism , Infotech , hacker baselines, transCyberian cyborgs, Gibsons , AI , singularity-grade AIs , artilects , hyperturing , virches , Sol System , Cyborgs , a.t. , luddist , Kuiper Belt , Oort cloud , nanite plague , Clade Rigel . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4799624d5b42d Etodism The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: First Federation. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4af6f1873dbc6 Chiri The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: conversion drive. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/46ddfd6e582e1 Nuage, Nuagism The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: memeticity , Old Earth , First Federation Era. Magusism - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Occult, Occultism, Occultist, memeticity , wetware , transapientech augments . Occult Philosopher - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Sophic league. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4758a23c2ccb3 Occult, Occultism, Occultist The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: meme-complexes , stars, planets, gems, colors, chakras, elements, toposophic kingdoms, and phyles , Universal Mind . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4840b7a84c44e One Soul Movement The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: IA (Intelligence Augmentation) , backups , hypertech , copy , memetic , clades . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4840b4d84ffec Mechanists, Mechanism The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: philosophy and metaphysics , Industrial Age , memetic , wet , dry , bioists , m-life , hylotech , hylonanotech , biotech , vecs , Sephirotic hypercultures , Metasoft Version Tree , Zoeific Biopolity , Materialism - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: ril , vir , MPA . Meatling - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: vecs, clades, bionts, cyborgs . RE: Proof-reading EG - Avengium - 11-17-2017 More links that we can include in the text of the articles: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47a13b8502640 Tahmetianity, The Tahmetian Crusades The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: transapients , Inner Sphere . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/471ea9d976092 Undyoism The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Taoism , extinct alien civilizations [The Mysterian species?]. Taoism - [article] Links: Old Earth. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/46e9deab470c9 Yoson Confederacy The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: sophic league , Etodism , Tahmetian Crusaders . http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/518029e0eb19a Chrono-Transcendent Soul, The The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: copy, or intelligent agent, vec, provolve, human or archailect , early Interplanetary Age , Atomic Age theoretical physicist John Wheeler , Terragen Sphere , Materialist , Eridanus Mandarin - [article] The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Inner Sphere, Yoson Confederacy , Etodists. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/487bb1fc69461 Eridanus League, The The article need hyperlinks in the text. For example: Nanotech Window , terraforming , Etodism , fast (relativistic) conversion drive ships , wormhole links , Nova Terra , Solsys , Yoson Confederacy , FSA . When i have more, i will post it here. Good day. RE: Proof-reading EG - MyTrueNameIs - 11-17-2017 http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/57ea4e98ab833 Minor recommended edit for FreeBirds article. Vacuum adaptations are mentioned twice, a single sentence for freebirds and a the entire last paragraph for "Other subsophont zero-G avian clades" which seems out of place on an article about freebirds. I would change the last paragraph to be about the few freebird clades that were adapted to vacuum. RE: Proof-reading EG - MyTrueNameIs - 11-17-2017 "Some Adumbrans transcend to higher toposophic levels, at about the average rate." Remove the word "some", otherwise it refers to only subsection of population not the Adumbran clade as a whole. http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47e8639c4e21c RE: Proof-reading EG - MyTrueNameIs - 11-17-2017 http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4d5bf5bfdc653 "ranging from simple tetrachromatism to whole new senses." Can we get a footnote, link or explanation of what tetrachromatism is? RE: Proof-reading EG - Drashner1 - 11-24-2017 (11-01-2017, 06:38 PM)MyTrueNameIs Wrote: The article "Computronium Bell-curve Theory" ends with "or the appetite of black holes with certain appetite." using the word "appetite" twice is a little repetitive and slightly confusing I recommend changing it to " or the appetite of black holes with a certain hunger." Fixed Todd RE: Proof-reading EG - Drashner1 - 11-25-2017 (11-08-2017, 07:07 AM)Avengium Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/46d4d166cfc6d I've gone through the above articles and added some links and done a bit of wordsmithing. Will aim to do more as time permits. For future reference, it really isn't necessary to list out what additional links should be added for each article. Just saying that the following articles could use more links is fine. The editors can figure it out from there. Thanks! Todd RE: Proof-reading EG - ProxCenBound - 11-25-2017 http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/467892171fffb These need to be fixed: point 60° east RE: Proof-reading EG - selden - 12-05-2017 http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4902eb14ca7bc Medius There is even an intersystem beam rider network that increases travel between the various structures. might be better as There is even an intrasystem beam rider network that increases travel between the various structures. i.e. a beam rider network between structures within the system, since the word "system" is primarily used inclusively, to designate all of the structures and planets orbiting Medius. |