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Front Page: changes to wording
#15
(08-16-2014, 10:41 AM)Drashner1 Wrote:
(08-16-2014, 01:57 AM)Matterplay1 Wrote: I still don't like that 'and' at the beginning of the second-last sentence, but perhaps I'm being old-fashioned.

I'm also not thrilled by the 'and' at the start of the sentence either (it makes my inner English Major twitch). After reading your post here and thinking about it a bit, the following possible tweak (in bold) came to mind.

Welcome to Orion's Arm, a scenario set thousands of years in the future when civilization spans the stars. Mindkind has spread across the galaxy, godlike ascended intelligences rule vast interstellar empires, and lesser factions seek to carve out their own dominions through intrigue and conquest. While out beyond the edge of civilized space and the human-friendly worlds, adventure awaits those prepared to risk all.

Come join us in this ever-expanding collective worldbuilding effort. Within the hard science fiction universe that is Orion's Arm you will find:

plausible technology
complex and developed cultures
a galaxy-spanning setting
10,000+ years of historical development
realistic exobiology

I've thought about it a bit and I still think this one is closest to the mark. Hard science fiction (a particular subtype) is a big part of what we're all about, and a major 'selling' point. We needn't be shy about that. The statements about our approaches to technology and exobiology are indicators, but not the real thing. People looking into the project should know which kind of fun we're offering right up front. A link, for the interested, gives the details of which particular kind of 'hard sf' the OA project offers, and an indication that we know full well that other varieties of science fiction can be just as entertaining. Seems to me that about takes care of it; the rest happens when people stop reading what's on the cover and start opening the book.
Stephen
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Messages In This Thread
Front Page: changes to wording - by Matterplay1 - 08-12-2014, 02:47 PM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Rynn - 08-12-2014, 09:18 PM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Dalex - 08-12-2014, 11:38 PM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Drashner1 - 08-13-2014, 01:08 AM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Drashner1 - 08-13-2014, 11:40 AM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Drashner1 - 08-15-2014, 11:12 AM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Drashner1 - 08-16-2014, 10:41 AM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Drashner1 - 08-16-2014, 12:05 PM
RE: Front Page: changes to wording - by Matterplay1 - 08-20-2014, 02:44 AM

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