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Proof-reading EG
The concept of a transapient which is (apparently) obedient to entities that are much less sophisticated is difficult to grok, and I've always been in two minds about it. On one hand the toposophic landscape is probably weird enough for such entities to exist, and it is certain that they would be very useful tools indeed; a genie in a bottle that has remarkable magic powers.

On the other hand an 'obedient' transapient might only be pretending to be obedient, while simultaneously affecting its modosophont masters in subtle ways so that they act according to its own wishes. The memetic powers of a transapient - even a 'slaved' transapient - could be very great.
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(02-19-2017, 08:29 AM)stevebowers Wrote: edited - Transapient biological vots are an interesting idea- we should have an article about them. One option is a giant brain, like Stapledon's Fourth Men, that acts as adviser-angel for the modosophont population.
I really love that idea! I think Stapledon has a wonderful imagination. But note that the Fourth Men are men with "no emotions" they incarnate the trope of rationality at all costs.
They created the Fifth Men that have a rich emotional spectrum knowing nothing about emotions. only for what they read in books. (Or at least this is how i remember them).
   
The attachment is a screenshot from my phone screen.
-----Signature-----------------------------------------------------
Quote: "Nature considers all the variables".
Quote: "the object and the theory are distinct things"
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45cfd1ff68f47
Solipsist Panvirtuality

Resource Base: The Panvirtuality prefers large hot bright stars any unclaimed stars up to O-type blue giants, but will appropriate and star systems down to red dwarfs.

might be better as

Resource Base: The Panvirtuality prefers unclaimed large hot bright stars up to O-type blue giants, but will appropriate any star systems down to red dwarfs.


The Data Panel entry

Data Net Many orders of magnitude larger and more comprehensive than that used by ordinary sapients and basic transapients of the Sephirotic polities, so much so that some say that the Panvirtuality

terminates prematurely on-screen at that point. It is a copy of the beginning of a longer sentence which appears later in the body of the article.

The Data Panel entry might be better if it were to terminate sooner, since the rest of that sentence seems to be opinion rather than data.

Data Net Many orders of magnitude larger and more comprehensive than that used by ordinary sapients and basic transapients of the Sephirotic polities.
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/491aecf1478f9
Enigma Cluster, The (NGC 6755)
The phrase
This is in large part to the competing fleets
would be better as
This is due in large part to the competing fleets

The paragraph
The brightest twenty stars in the cluster, all blue-white giants, were being slowly stripped of their outer layers by the dedicated De sitter starlifter specialists, and wonderful advances were being made in the field of noetics by what had become effectively a cluster brain.

would be better as

The brightest twenty stars in the cluster, all blue-white giants, were slowly stripped of their outer layers by the dedicated De sitter starlifter specialists, and wonderful advances were made in the field of noetics by what had become effectively a cluster brain.
( past tense consistent with the rest of the argicle)

The paragraph
It was not known the exact form of the ascended consciousness, but no further contact had been made.
would be better as
The exact form of the ascended consciousness is not known, but no further contact has been made.
(present tense to be consistent with the remainder of the article.)
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4e26e0f62441a
Transcend Seven

The phrase
consisting of an 21solar mass
would be better as
consisting of a 21 solar mass

The phrase
Except the neutron star
might be better as
Except for the neutron star
or
With the exception of the neutron star

The phrase
orbits the barycenter of the S-Brains in a distance of about 2AU.
would be better as
orbits the barycenter of the S-Brains at a distance of about 2AU.

The phrase
much deeper connections with other empires as previously thought
would be better as
much deeper connections with other empires than previously thought

The phrase
albeit there are exceptions.
would be better as
although there are exceptions.

The phrase
up to hundred S4s and S4+s
would be better as
up to a hundred S4s and S4+s

The phrase
and the binary god-stars being part
would be better as
and the binary god-stars which are part

The phrase
happened before, albeit it is not
would be better as
happened before, although it is not

Paragraph-breaks seem to be missing at

higher than what is visible.
This leads to the conclusion

and

M- and/or J-Nodes.
Alphaline Ascendant,
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47645c107aed6
Reality Intratextualization Project

the phrase
study what these alternate readings of the universe contains.
would be better as
study what these alternate readings of the universe contain.
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/48fdc67c7a650

The article on the Oracle Wars mentions Ylem as shielding.

IIRC matter with this property (energy impinging on it is converted to matter of the same type) has no scientific basis and references to Ylem ought to be removed from EG articles.
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We have been considering how Ylem could be re-imagined; it also crops up in one or two stories, so if there is any way to rescue it we would prefer that.
(If anyone doesn't know what Ylem was, it could convert energy directly into mass, making it an ideal shielding material. Even as clarketech this is too outrageous for OA).
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(02-20-2017, 02:15 AM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45cfd1ff68f47
Solipsist Panvirtuality
I've tidied that page up a bit, and added some more data and links. The sentence that 'terminated' half-way through was caused by the use of an inappropriate set of "quotation marks" - our CMS is a bit cranky, and doesn't accept several different kinds of symbol, especially inside data panels.
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(02-20-2017, 02:22 AM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/491aecf1478f9
Enigma Cluster, The (NGC 6755)

Fixed, and extra links added. Thanks!
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