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Proof-reading EG
Edited; thanks!
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(08-17-2016, 07:46 PM)stevebowers Wrote: Suggest and/or between Dyson and Matrioshka in both paragraphs. At the moment it reads as if they are all necessary, but they need not all be present.

I've updated the page with the and/or element that you've suggested.

Thanks!

Todd
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The Samelians have been in contact for 9000 standard years according their article. That seems strange for sure.

http://orionsarm.com/eg-topic/510a95630431e
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(08-23-2016, 06:06 AM)1of3 Wrote: The Samelians have been in contact for 9000 standard years according their article. That seems strange for sure.

http://orionsarm.com/eg-topic/510a95630431e

The article as written states:

[b]Altogether, this process of identification, observation, analysis, and translation has spanned 9.486 Terragen Standard Years (as of the date of this report) and is still ongoing.[/b]

It took me a couple of times reading it, but I finally realized (with the help of the Zoom function on my computer) that the dot is a period, not a comma and the article is saying that contact has spanned 9.486 (nine point four eight six)years, rather than 9,486 (nine thousand, four hundred and eighty-six) years.

It might be a good idea to tweak this to say something like '...has spanned nearly 10 Terragen Standard Years (9.486 years as of the date of this report) and is still ongoing.'

Todd
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http://orionsarm.com/eg-article/45f97a51dbf24
Argus Array

archailects don't alway co-operate
should be
archailects don't always co-operate

but third singularitycliological simulations
should be
but third singularity cliological simulations
Selden
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http://orionsarm.com/eg-article/478adb4aeb392
Sundrivers, The

probes have departed from the cluster
probably was intended to be
probes have departed for the cluster
Selden
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Samaelians, Argus Array and Sundrivers all updated; thanks!
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http://orionsarm.com/eg-article/46478dd0d988f
Dedicated Hyperturing


be used to attack other a transapient directly
should be
be used to attack another transapient directly

is a distraction for the task at hand
should be
is a distraction from the task at hand

These freed d.h's generally
should be
These freed DH generally

freelance d.h. are in high demand.
should be
freelance DH are in high demand.

(the latter two primarily for consistency with the abbreviation used elsewhere in the article.)
Selden
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http://orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45cbd68bc347f
Keter

by both cybernetic mission to backward planets, military measures to weed out the unfit and an ambitious program of evangelism within other domains.

would be better as
by cybernetic missions to backward planets, military measures to weed out the unfit, and an ambitious program of evangelism within other domains.

("Both" means two items, not three)


The article also does not mention the population levels of the various types of mondosophonts or transapients. Might that information have been accidentally deleted from the section "Territory and Population"?
Selden
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http://orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b2ad0f11181
9999 AT to Present: (Current Era)

And for that reason do even the original Tunnler AIs seem to have developed some strange agendas of their own?

tries to be both statement and question.
It might be better as just

Even the original Tunnler AIs seem to have developed some strange agendas of their own.

http://orionsarm.com/page/177
Reunion At Kemmerer

The image at the top of the article/story is not being drawn.
Selecting the image's link results in the error message
Code:
Error

Database error: Unknown column 'im' in 'where clause'.

SQL: SELECT * FROM xcms_pages WHERE page_id = im

/home/www/vhosts/www.orionsarm.com/htdocs/lib/lib_db.php(42)

#0 /home/www/vhosts/www.orionsarm.com/htdocs/models/model_pages.php(203): db_execute('SELECT * FROM x...')
#1 /home/www/vhosts/www.orionsarm.com/htdocs/controllers/cont_oa.php(359): PageFacade::get('im')
#2 /home/www/vhosts/www.orionsarm.com/htdocs/xcms.php(107): include('/home/www/vhost...')
#3 {main}
Selden
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