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Proof-reading EG
(02-10-2017, 08:10 PM)QwertyYerty Wrote: 378 - Retroviral attack on Flamsteed crater leads to development of Genematode defence package.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b2b10d8b211

407 - Outbreak of retroviral typhoid on the Luna settlement at Flamsteed crater. Following this, GeneTEK develops a modified nematode as an antiviral/antibacterial agent.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b2b1a3d9417

Following the outbreak of retroviral typhoid on the Luna settlement at Flamsteed crater in 377 a.t., Genetek developed a nematode-like defence system as an antiviral/antibacterial agent. At first expensive the treatment soon became indispensable.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/464e8b536e1c7

This one is weird. I'm sure it should be 378AT, so I've changed it to that.
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(02-10-2017, 10:16 PM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/48645c02a68f1
Marrowbone Armor

since it's creation.
should be
since its creation.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4610062377d94
Body Armour

became more intelligent their developed the combat mecha.
might be better as
became more intelligent they developed into combat mecha.
Fixed; I've rewritten the Body Armour article slightly to make it more comprehensive.
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This passage needs a period after "carrying". See bold.

Eventually a medic came in and gave me a mild sedative- I didn’t know this one, just another of the thousands of qualified personnel we were carrying. I made up my mind to ask him his name, but before I could, he addressed me directly in that particular, solemn tone that signals trouble.

http://www.voicesoa.net/the-starlark-part-three/
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"B" in "but" should be lower case.

“I’m sorry, But I have some bad news.”

http://www.voicesoa.net/the-starlark-part-three/

The T in This should be lower case.

We sat together in silence, for a while; This medic, whoever he was, stayed with me to give me support as the news sank in.

http://www.voicesoa.net/the-starlark-part-three/
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(02-11-2017, 10:17 AM)QwertyYerty Wrote: "B" in "but" should be lower case.

“I’m sorry, But I have some bad news.”

http://www.voicesoa.net/the-starlark-part-three/

The T in This should be lower case.

We sat together in silence, for a while; This medic, whoever he was, stayed with me to give me support as the news sank in.

http://www.voicesoa.net/the-starlark-part-three/

Unfortunately, we no longer have easy access to the voicesoa.net URL (long story). One of the things we plan to do later this year is copy any stories on that site into our Content Management System so we can do edits and other things to them, as desired and then update the links.

While we certainly appreciate any proof-reading you or anyone else would like to do on these, it's probably best to hold off on them until they have been moved over. We can't actually act on any proof-reading or editing advice for them until that happens.

Thanks!

Todd
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Which Buddhist doctrines?

The failure of the Zerodyn architecture stimulated research among the Borelsky Archipelago cyborg habitats in the Belt, influenced by the Buddhist cyberpsychology of Yagata Nagai. They found a cultural coping mechanism in different strains of Buddhist doctrines, making it possible to use Zerodyn-style total self-understanding without UDD. This was one of the first major uses of cultural programming to maintain extreme enhancements; earlier transhumanist and Genetekker memetic engineering had been pointing in this direction, but the Borlesky Meditations were the first necessary mental training to handle an enhanced existence form.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/480d5070d7135
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This is a tricky one. Anders' article is about the likely problems that will arise once we start trying to create new types of mind, especially minds that are ultra-aware of their own internal processing. He seems to be suggesting that the meditative and inwardly-contemplative techniques of Buddhism might help to attain a sense of psychic proportion in such minds. The particular Buddhist doctrines concerned may not even exist yet.

It seems extremely likely that there will be developments in theological and transcendental thought at the same time as the development of artificial mentalities, since the exploration of toposophic phase space and the fine details of mentation will almost certainly open up new insights abut the position of mind in the universe (and vice versa).
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Why does is the frenetic pace of change considered to have ended at the end of the Interplanetary age instead of the end or the nanotech age? Are the bolded words below typos?

7) Technological Stability: The rate of change from the point of view of SI<1 entities is much slower than it was during the pre-Technocalypse (Industrial Age through to Space Age) periods, though not so slow as it was during the Palaeolithic.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b2ddfe5cc19

Popular thinking identifies High Tech as characteristic of the First Federation Age. In fact, though, most of the essential elements of High Tech were in place by the close of the Interplanetary Age.

...

The frenetic pace of change between the end of the Agricultural Age and the end of the Interplanetary Age has never since been matched in terms of technologies for subsingularity beings.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45cfd626aae0d
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I suspect that what is meant here is Interplanetary Era, which includes (somewhat confusingly) the Interplanetary Age and the Nanotech Age.

If others agree with me, this is easily adjusted.

Todd
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I was about to post the same thing. Note that the Interplanetary Era also includes the Sundering, when a lot of data, technology and skills were lost.
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