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Proof-reading EG
Bold should be S1 and above.

It should be noted that most AIs do not share the biont self-model, and seldom have problems with ultraconsciousness. Ultraconsciousness is the rule among entities above S1, making it necessary for all former bionts wishing to ascend to develop a suitable coping technique.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4b9f2a844034a
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Fixed this (it's on the Hyperautism page).
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In this: Upload (EG article) is written:
"Although suggested by Alan Turing in the 1940's (Old Earth calendar) and a major research goal during the early Interplanetary ages,"

I think we should add Tranquility Calendar date too. like 30 BT or something.
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4b93bfb9d77e1
Biomachine

like the slaved softbots of the Zoeific Biopolity.
probably should be just
like the softbots of the Zoeific Biopolity.

Otherwise, it might be appropriate for there to be an article describing the biological equivalent of a vot. Alternatively, perhaps one about abuses in the Biopolity.
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4c3b97f33810a
Mycosmid

only to find that the 60 percent of the Aztlanite population was killed.

should be either
only to find that the 60 percent of the Aztlanite population had been killed.
or
only to find that the 60 percent of the Aztlanite population was dead.
Selden
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I've rewritten that paragraph slightly to make it clearer (to me, anyway).
Quote:Unfortunately, in 1537 AT, an ahuman aggressive hegemonising swarm believed to be of S1 level or directed by a S1 entity from the Diamond Belt caught the Aztlanites completely off guard. The swarm first severed the links connecting the three moons and then attacked the moons themselves. By the time the Triumvirate could mount eir defenses, the Aztlanite population was under direct attack. The threat was eventually eliminated, but the Aztlanite population suffered 60% casualties. A large volume of the Triumvirate's processing biosubstrate was destroyed, limiting the help ey could provide to the survivors.
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(02-19-2017, 06:42 AM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4b93bfb9d77e1
Biomachine

like the slaved softbots of the Zoeific Biopolity.
probably should be just
like the softbots of the Zoeific Biopolity.

Otherwise, it might be appropriate for there to be an article describing the biological equivalent of a vot. Alternatively, perhaps one about abuses in the Biopolity.
edited - Transapient biological vots are an interesting idea- we should have an article about them. One option is a giant brain, like Stapledon's Fourth Men, that acts as adviser-angel for the modosophont population.
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(02-19-2017, 05:37 AM)Avengium Wrote: In this: Upload (EG article) is written:
"Although suggested by Alan Turing in the 1940's (Old Earth calendar) and a major research goal during the early Interplanetary ages,"

I think we should add Tranquility Calendar date too. like 30 BT or something.
I've rewritten this article slightly to make it somewhat clearer; hopefully I haven't made it worse.
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(02-19-2017, 09:01 AM)stevebowers Wrote: I've rewritten this article slightly to make it somewhat clearer; hopefully I haven't made it worse.

Now look better. Thanks. Smile
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(02-19-2017, 06:42 AM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4b93bfb9d77e1
Biomachine

like the slaved softbots of the Zoeific Biopolity.
probably should be just
like the softbots of the Zoeific Biopolity.

Otherwise, it might be appropriate for there to be an article describing the biological equivalent of a vot. Alternatively, perhaps one about abuses in the Biopolity.

When I rewrote that article I was trying to be true to the term "Bio<b>machine</b>." A machine has to be dedicated to the task it's set to, you can't have it distracted by the scenery. But if you don't like the term "slaved" fear not, in the OA it doesn't mean the same as it does now.
Evidence separates truth from fiction.
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