The Two Second Interview
"You should be grateful, you know," said the man in the long white robe as he stood next to me. "It's been 212 years since He has given His last interview to a media faction." The man, an interface agent, wasn't speaking condescendingly to me as he spoke, and I was truly grateful for the opportunity.

"Any idea why He chose me?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Maybe it was that positive article about AI God's you wrote last month for the newsies? I am not sure, and who knows the mind of a God anyways?" the man shrugged and held out his hand. "Did you bring the infocrystal as requested?"

I gave him the small recording device, a crystal pellet that all major media now used. The pea-shaped object could literally hold terrabytes of data. The man in the white robe placed it on a console and within a few seconds handed it back to me, smiling.

"The interview is over," he stated.

I retrieved the small object from him and looked at the infocrystal. I had placed over 2,000 questions within it, and now over 7,000 Mb worth of information was stored on it.

Man that was fast, I thought as I walked out the door.

In the boundless depths of c-space Megagant dwelt, organizing His thoughts, controlling interfaces into the real world and rerouting data as needed. In the two seconds it took to scan and formulate answers to the mediaman's questions, Megagant took the opportunity to actually look at His subject: Jine Adwine, newsie for Imperia Papers.

.00028 Scan infocrystal and begin formulating answers; load answers onto crystal (7,101.56Mb worth of data transferred). Interface with Joyful Dancer AI from Beta Continent. Interface complete.

.0067 Begin and finish 100 year agricultural weather pattern analysis of planet Jinx. Receive data from Conscience AI regarding the Formation of the Universe. Refresh memory core with scientific information; 10.2 terrabytes accessed and assimilated.

.051 Interface via wormhole-link with Blinx, L-Adam, and Archeron AIs regarding Heat Death of the Universe. Engage in wargames with Blinx AI, conducting several thousand battles simultaneously. Begin designs for new micro-fighter craft, system defense boats, and KK-Class Battleships as a result of these virtual conflicts.

.93 Consult with Uel (He Who Is Ever Present AI) over long-term fertility rates on the Negentropic Alliance worlds Campuya, Delfos, and the Andoas System. No consensus reached. Monitor global information patterns; over 310 billion transmissions received this hour; recorded and analyzed by subroutine as they come in.

1.21 Begin joint conversion process with Forerunner, Mazzeleron, and Iceblink AI . Data storage peak. Continue overseeing conversion of Jupitrex to Mainbrain formation; additional nanoswarms (412 trillion) sent to construction site. Begin and finish genetic encoding for entire family of Corona viruses.

1.350 Formulate economic needs and resource allocations for Bender's World, McGuffin's Planetoid, and send credits overdue to planet Primaria/Agent Marcus de la Royo via wormhole communications. Rewrite financial subroutines to better effectively deal with upkeep. Conduct and finish defense mode drills of primary planetary defenses; 87% efficiency recorded.

1.70 Continuing to monitor global information patterns; continue maintaining wormhole gate stability. Over 7,000 tons of mass-energy have been added this cycle to maintain pattern. Begin and complete history of all virch worlders at Ain Soph Aur. Database released to Cybernex Press.

1.88 Study Dyson feasibility in Juggernaut Nebula area. Begin nucleo-tech research into superbonded materials. Alert interface agent that interview is over.

by Idahobeef (2013)

Voices Future Tense 21 Table of Contents

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