Proof-reading EG

[stevebowers]

Here's a rewrite for Dumbdo:


Dumbdo is 'Dumbdowned tech'; ultratech that can be used by an untrained human baseline (or equivalent) without risk.

Ultratech is defined as ultra-advanced technology that can nevertheless be built, used and understood by modosophont tech-users. In most cases this technology has been developed by transapients or archailects first, but this is only because such advanced entities can work much faster when developing new scientific concepts, applications and working designs. However, the basic principles can be understood and used by modos, even though this may take a considerable amount of training, skill modules or comprehensive tachididaxy.

However, 'dumbdo' tech is designed to be used safely by an untrained (and not necessarily responsible) human baseline, or any other modosophont with a similar level of sophistication. Dumbdo tech typically has a fool-proof and fail-safe user-friendly interface, so the untrained user cannot cause harm to themself or to other individuals (and usually, they cannot cause significant damage to property, unless they have permission to do so). Sometimes a piece of dumbdo will simply cease to operate if asked to do anything dangerous or destructive.

Some types of dumbdo comes complete with integrated skill module applications, so that an untrained user can quickly download the operating instructions and necessary skills; this is known as 'augie dumbdo' and allows a user with direct neural interfacing to use a piece of unfamiliar ultratech. Technology that is safe to use without interfacing is sometimes known as 'duh dumbdo'.

Foolproof and failsafe technology with user-friendly control systems are commonplace in the Terragen Sphere, and can be found at the hi-tech and middle-tech levels as well. Indeed, tech which can be used safely by the untrained is a desirable characteristic at all levels of technology.

The ultimate aim of any clarketech hunter is to find transapientech which can be used safely by anybody, even a fool; but this sort of 'clarketech dumbdo' is vanishingly hard to find, and often is far more dangerous than it appears.

[Drashner1]

Let's see here...

I'm generally fine with the rewritten article with one possible wrinkle. This sentence:

Ultratech is defined as ultra-advanced technology that can nevertheless be built, used and understood by modosophont tech-users.

I'm wondering where it (and ultratech as a concept more generally) fits in relation to this article.

Looking at them both it would appear that ultratech as currently defined (we've changed this a bit in this area over the years) could also be considered "Low Ground' transapient derived technology or 'low ground transapientech'. In which case should we consider linking the articles together, either in text or via the Related Articles function?

Also, I'm going to suggest we tweak the wording as follows:

Ultratech is defined as transapient-derived technology that can nevertheless be built, used and understood by modosophont tech-users.

This has the advantage of being both more accurate and removing the term 'ultra-advanced' which is both vague/subjective and also represents a case of using a term in reference to a term to try and explain that term (which is generally not a good thing to do).

Moving on to the issue of the 'Daemons of the Trump'. In absolute terms I really dislike having to consider the issue raised since:

a) The article greatly predates the entrance of Trump into modern politics and has nothing to do with him.

b) The title refers to (IIRC) something in Christian theology about the last trumpet sounding on Judgement Day or somesuch. So again, it's not connected to current politics.

That all said, I've also never really liked the title of this article and (much as I dislike the fact) I do realize that in the modern day there are any number of people online just looking for something to get upset over. Removing a possibly source of oxygen for such behavior is probably the better course of action. With both of those things in mind, I would suggest the following:

a) Rename the article to Daemons of Sidene - the first system that was attacked. Update the rest of the article text accordingly.

b) Replace the fourth paragraph:

As to their origins and motives, little is known. It seems they refer to themselves as the Daemons of the Trump; no one in the region has been able to decipher this reference. Ideas concerning their origin include their being Dawn Hunters, Immanentization Crusaders, or an outbreak of the Chaos. A few minor cults have sprung up based on these ships, considering them a form of divine retribution and spiritual cleansing (a relatively standard mythos).

with this sentence:

Ideas concerning Daemon's origins include that they are the Dawn Hunters, Immanentization Crusaders, or an outbreak of the Chaos.

The primary reason for this is that it sidesteps the whole issue of whether or not the Daemons are communicating with their victims or how or what they may be saying or calling themselves. Also - as currently written - there is nothing about these entities that comes across as being even unusually powerful by Y11k standards of military hardware, let alone so powerful as to be considered 'divine retribution' level (whether that is being defined as godtech or literal supernatural retribution). IMHO this brings the article more into alignment with our current take on things and tone of the setting.

That said, if someone is inspired to rewrite the Daemons so they are more 'godlike' in their apparent hardware and actions then we might look at different wording here, including keeping the idea of cults worshiping them and such.

My 2c worth,

Todd

[stevebowers]

The reason I don't like Daemons of the Trump as a title is that it refers to the Last Trump, a theological eschatological concept that must be a bit outdated by 11K. There are trillions of Christians in the OA Current Era, but they have probably moved on from waiting for the Last Judgement after ten thousand years of anticipation.

Having said that, one article suggests that there were people who compared the Version War to Ragnarok, so I can understand the sentiment.

The Daemons of Sidene it is.

[totos_totidis]

With regards to the dumbo article, I would remove this sentence entirely:
"Ultratech is defined as ultra-advanced technology that can nevertheless be built, used and understood by modosophont tech-users"
Instead, I would add a hyperlink to the word "ultratech" in the first sentence.

Aside from that it is generally good. Here is the draft with minor changes (mostly grammatical):

Dumbdo is 'Dumbdowned tech'; ultratech that can be used by an untrained human baseline (or equivalent) without risk.

In most cases, this technology has been developed by transapients or archailects first, but this is only because such advanced entities can work much faster when developing new scientific concepts, applications, and working designs. However, the basic principles can be understood and used by modos, even though this may take a considerable amount of training, skill modules, or comprehensive tachididaxy.


However, 'dumbdo' tech is designed to be used safely by an untrained (and not necessarily responsible) human baseline, or any other modosophont with a similar level of sophistication. Dumbdo tech typically has a fool-proof and fail-safe user-friendly interface, so that the untrained user cannot cause harm to themself or to other individuals (and usually, they cannot cause significant property damage, unless they have permission to do so). Sometimes a piece of dumbdo will simply cease to operate if asked to do anything dangerous or destructive.

Some types of dumbdo come complete with integrated skill modules, so that an untrained user can quickly download the operating instructions and necessary skills; this is known as 'augie dumbdo' and allows a user with a direct neural interface to use a piece of unfamiliar ultratech. Technology that is safe to use without an interface [a DNI] is sometimes known as 'duh dumbdo'.

[Perhaps instead of writing “direct neural interface”, DNI could be used, assuming a hyperlink is provided]

Foolproof and failsafe technology with user-friendly control systems is commonplace in the Terragen Sphere and can be found in hi-tech and middle-tech levels as well. Indeed, ease of use by any untrained sophont is a desirable characteristic at all levels of technology.

The ultimate aim of any clarketech hunter is to find transapientech that can be used safely by anybody, even a fool; but this sort of 'clarketech dumbdo' is vanishingly hard to find, and often is far more dangerous than it appears.

[stevebowers]

Here's an image for the Daemons of Sidene;
   

[stevebowers]

With regards to the dumbo article, I would remove this sentence entirely:
"Ultratech is defined as ultra-advanced technology that can nevertheless be built, used and understood by modosophont tech-users"
Instead, I would add a hyperlink to the word "ultratech" in the first sentence.

Actually I think I'll keep Todd's sentence as is. It is useful sometimes to give a short synopsis of a concept on the page itself, rather than a hyperlink.

Aside from that it is generally good. Here is the draft with minor changes (mostly grammatical):

But I'll use the rest of your version - thanks!

[Drashner1]

Neat picture! Those ships look both functional and scary at the same time.

Todd

[Avengium]

I know Daemons of the Trump was a very old article. I read that more than once in the past and now reading to daemons of Sidene with the new image, it looked like a different article. I didn't know Daemons of Sidene was Daemons of the Trump.

I also didn't like trump as a name, but because i am spanish, i didn't know "the final days" and the Judgement was called "The Last Trump" and googling that to know the biblical meaning is not easy to find an explanation. There is a lot of noise in search.

The first match in google search says:

Is Donald Trump 'the Last Trump' Before Jesus Christ's Return?
By Stoyan Zaimov, Christian Post Reporter Monday, January 30, 2017

Lol. That's a weird coincidence.
About christians 10K years in the future awaiting for the final days, I think that's inevitable. If it is not over yet, there will be believers waiting for it to be over. It's how their religion is structured.

changing topic,
Thanks for working on the articles and making them better.

[Avengium]

Proof-reading. I was proof-reading the articles updated in march.

I would like to help with the format and maybe expand some.

New Images
Hochent, Recor by WiseOldBaby
https://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4671bce89a0e4

Empath philosopher and religious engineer (6844-7101-8309-) from Heartland Mumris Band.

Hochent was a key member of the conreligion networks of Regernar, gathering the current threads into a long series of essays, concordances and polymedias (the Tanusiad). E was deeply involved in the development of mykultura philosophy during the relative isolation of the Version War, and became the movement's spokesbeing to the rest of Communion and the ComEmp. After ascending, Hochent continued eir religious studies across the Wormhole Nexus, comparing long-range religious trends and eschatological models. In 8309 the Hochent persona underwent voluntary stasis in the Regernar Oort Vault; reactivation criteria are unknown.

https://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b2c136bbf67 4450 to 4650 AT: The Version War Period
https://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45b2c1a24e17e 4650 to 5200 AT: The ComEmp Period

The article says Hochent, Recor was influential in the Version War but that is thousands before any of his mentioned dates, 6844 is the earliest.
Do we add more earlier dates to his biography that say he has existed since ancient times or do we advance the entire biography a few thousand years?
Being the founder of Mykultura https://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47bb88763beb3, his biography does not affect only him. That's why I ask for a consensus.

PS: Also, another TYPO. I search for "Regernar" and there are: 2 topics
- 4650 to 5200 AT: The ComEmp Period
- 5800 to 6700 AT: Age of Separate Empires

and three articles
- Hochent, Recor
- Mykultura/Egotheism
- Self-Worship - Text by M. Alan Kazlev

but the article is not called like that.

"Rergenar" returns other matches.
https://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/47703480bcd62

topics:
- 7200 to 7800 AT: The Central Alliance
- Communion of Worlds

Articles
- Biotics
- Rergenar
- Restorationism - Text by Anders Sandberg
Political view among some groups of the Communion of Worlds suggesting the need for a wholesale revision of the genetic aspects (and possibly memetics) of all clades of the Communion to restore unity. They often collaborate with the Dominion-influenced empaiocrats. Their main opponents are dynamist empaths such as clade Jenre Geiogne and ultra-cladists such as the Rergenar genocracy.

We need a consensus and move all the spelling to the same string of characters.

[Worldtree]

The article says Hochent, Recor was influential in the Version War but that is thousands before any of his mentioned dates, 6844 is the earliest.
Do we add more earlier dates to his biography that say he has existed since ancient times or do we advance the entire biography a few thousand years?

Sure go for it. Add whatever else you want