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Proof-reading EG
http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/475d73cc787c3
Other Self

sometime this psychosis is in fact the desired outcome.
should be
sometimes this psychosis is in fact the desired outcome.
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/503cd400819a6
Fiarro Twin Worlds, The

the use of personality trait adjustment technology are discouraged
should be
the use of personality trait adjustment technology is discouraged
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/480a4f64762fd
Chaos, The

there has been viruses, worms, feral packets,
should be
there have been viruses, worms, feral packets,
Selden
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/462d55832c31b
Daharrans, The

neuter nest-tenders who cares for the young.
should be
neuter nest-tenders who care for the young.
Selden
Reply
(04-19-2017, 12:47 PM)QwertyYerty Wrote: Are these dates consistent?

By the fall of 541, the combination of events, in particular the Black Rot and the Malware Outbreak, is estimated to have resulted in nearly five billion deaths, either directly or as a result of deaths due to infrastructure loss, economic collapse, lack of transportation (in particular lack of medical transport), lack of potable water, and lack of medical treatment, including rejuvenation and uploading.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/559d3b5ae17aa


Zarathustra was originally colonised by heteromorphic tweaks descended from the Nedyne Industries corporate headquarters and mining outposts in Jupiter orbit. During the Technocalypse they quickly realised the danger and hastily assembled a makeshift starship from a mass-driver, a number of fusion reactors, the main habitat and quickly nanofactured equipment. Led by the board of directors and their AI advisors Nedyne Industries fled in 551 AT towards Gamma Pavonis, judged as being far enough to be unlikely to be visited by any plague-carrying groups and known to have a habitable planet.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/46e73c1b0794b
The colonies in Jupiter space seem to have been extremely wealthy and capable, but also extremely scared; certain factions there cobbled together an interstellar mission in record time after the Technocalypse, and fled the system ten years later. Perhaps they had a half-built ship all ready to go, but which was no longer required by its original backers(who may have been dead).
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The Sophic League article needs links.
http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45ce471d24974
-----Signature-----------------------------------------------------
Quote: "Nature considers all the variables".
Quote: "the object and the theory are distinct things"
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(04-30-2017, 12:14 AM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/462d55832c31b
Daharrans, The

neuter nest-tenders who cares for the young.
should be
neuter nest-tenders who care for the young.
All corrections made up to this point.
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(04-30-2017, 09:33 PM)Avengium Wrote: The Sophic League article needs links.
http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45ce471d24974

Short on leisure time at the moment, so I won't get to this & other suggestions in this thread for a while yet. I'm hoping one of the other editors can. Briefly, though, this same thing applies to a lot of our older material. When we transitioned to the new format for the EG a few years back we had to add all the links back in by hand, and we still haven't caught up; it's a time-consuming task and so those updates only happen when one of us decides to turn attention to a rewrite & re-edit.
Stephen
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/46119aa05cfe5
Brown Dwarf

gas giant planets is set at 13 times the mass of Jupiter.
should be
gas giant planets is about 13 times the mass of Jupiter.

"Set" implies that someone arbitrarily defined it to be 13. Rather, that's the lowest mass at which deuterium fusion is believed to be possible.

While some rotate around their primary
should be
While some revolve around their primary

The whole paragraph is misleading, suggesting that brown dwarfs always form as part of a multi-object system:

While some rotate around their primary like an ordinary planet, many more brown dwarfs exist in the depths of interstellar space, as these small objects are often ejected from the stellar nursery by gravitational interactions with larger stars.

It would be better as
While some revolve around their primary like an ordinary planet, many more brown dwarfs exist in the depths of interstellar space. Some were ejected from a system by gravitational interactions with other stars while others formed on their own.

are very similar to solitary gas giants.
should be
are very similar to gas giant planets.

since not all of either are solitary.
Selden
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Thanks! I'll implement those changes shortly.
When I wrote this, I intended to suggest that brown dwarfs could form in two ways - like planets, through core accretion, and like stars, by gravitational collapse. This is my own speculation, by the way, and I don't know if either has been ruled out yet.
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