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Proof-reading EG
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Fixes are in bold, removed is strikedthrough.

"Aioids with less native intelligence than a human being are generally known as sub-turing entities;"

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45bd5f20ef3a4

"They sometimes suffer from paranoia and persecution by ignorant nearbaselines, and mostly live in their own enclaves."

Unnecessary comma

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45bd6196d461b

"Though they may be bright, or even superbright, and though they may have some extraordinary physical abilities and highly extended "natural" life-spans compared to a baseline human, they lack the entire coordinated suite of physical and mental advantages that distinguish the superiors, and though they may have the ability to survive and thrive in some conditions that might kill an ordinary baseline human they lack the extreme adaptations that distinguish the tweaks. Likewise, any nonhuman animal genome they carry is not so evident as in a rianth, and any hardware or bioware they may have chosen to integrate into their bodies is less extensive and vital to their existence than in the case for bioborgs and cyborgs."

"These so-called "pumpers" are faced with a painful choice:"

"most standard Terragen habs are designed to accommodate the human form, if they are not outright tailored to it, and Terragen societies are descended from human societies even if they are not entirely created by humans, and are often quite favourable to them."

unnecessary comma

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45c53b6ae0957

 "Throughout the galaxy, there are at least ten quadrillion sophont level sentient structures or artifacts, almost all of them in the Inner Sphere and older Middle Regions and provincial systems and habitats."

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45bd6540c5bb8

"Many superiors are superbrights, or have astonishing creative or athletic abilities."

unnecessary comma

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45beaea1aae3a

"Although the terms are often blurred, and in some polities and cultures even interchangeable, the term "vec" (named for the Information Age roboticist and ai researcher Hans Moravec) is generally used to distinguish turing- and superturing-grade mobile robots with full sophonce from presapient robots, which became known as "bots"."

"From the beginning, there were communities of technophiles and technospherists, of artificial intelligence explorers, of minskyites and morovecians, of transhumanists, and Buddhists, of Cosmists and cyborgs, who recognized the intelligent and sentient nature of vecs from the very beginning."

"Of course, out among some of the lesser worlds and biospheres of the Periphery where an enlightened central government is neither strong nor common, and civilization may give way to petty despotism, things have not really changed much since the bad old days....."
[/url]
[url=http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45c5299b77999]http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45c5299b77999


"Human baselines humans who are still at the level of Homo sapiens sapiens, and may be regarded with with pity or disdain by more typical sapient beings."

"In part, this is due to competition, and in part to the fact that human baseline populations tend to evolve into nearbaselines, tweaks, or cyborgs as individuals or whole societies seek to improve their lot."

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45c534b968f34

"Thus many cyborg clades grow from willing conversion of their children or from migration."

"Conversely, the types of implant that are ubiquitous among biont societies (such as personal medical systems) could be disabled without significant harm."

 "In others, sophonts that don't have roughly equal parts machine to biology are regarded as either bionts-with-implants or vecs-with-biotech. Nevertheless, there are some generalities among cyborgs (self-identified or otherwise);"

"However, there are alternative approaches as well as divisions within the traditional view (such as whether or not the drytech used should be "smart" i.e. self-maintaining/replicating)."

 "Despite the term having existed for decades previously, it was Ruth Dourkin that created and inspired the true cyborg movement."

"Even after Ruth's death, the movement grew rapidly, spurred by an effective network of collaborators and rapidly improving technology. "

"As with the field of gengineering (also flourishing at the time), the road was not completely smooth with many cases of ambition outgrowing ability (not to mention criminal uses of the technology)."

"In reality, there was little more than a friendly rivalry between groups and in many cases a lot of crossovers."

 "In a similar vein, the early cyborg cultures used biotechnology to not only improve their remaining biological parts but also aid implant interfacing and prevent side effects such as rejection."

"Unfortunately for those early cyborg cladestheir choice of personal improvement left them particularly vulnerable to the technocalypse. "

"Thankfully, like many clades who weathered the Sundering, the cyborg phyle blossomed upon the establishment of the First Federation."

"In the current era, the cyborg population in the Terragen Sphere varies between 2 and nine quadrillion depending on the definition used."

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-topic/45c5389352fa1

All I got for now.
Ever make mistakes in life? Let's make them birds. Yeah, they're birds now.

                                                                                                                   ~ Bob Ross
                                                                                                             
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http://www.orionsarm.com/xcms.php?r=oa-p...=gen_canon

At on point the OA project included these
should be
At one point the OA project included these

populace. from the perspective
should be
populace, from the perspective
--------
http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4817d1b2d28bf
Wilds, The

because they two are constantly expanding
should be
because they too are constantly expanding
Selden
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From Solarism:

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4840bd7ef0607

The bottom two fictional references date from years yet future from the EG in the AT calendar.
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http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4a53a8f690f09
Toposophic Level and Brain Size

Some possessives are missing their apostrophes:

¶ What is the entity's origin?

capabilities of the sophonts processing substrate
should be
capabilities of the sophont's processing substrate

depending on the sophonts S-level.
should be
depending on the sophont's S-level.

____

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/484737879bb05
Matrioshka Hypernode

worrisome possibilities, include that the
should be
worrisome possibilities, including that the

____

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4d34df9b7611e
Slow Gods and Fast Gods

Some gods are slow to conserve energy;
is ambiguous
( For some reason I first read it as meaning something like
Some gods are slow to adopt the idea that they should conserve energy; )

It might be better as
Some gods run slowly in order to conserve energy;
Selden
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I've corrected the values on the Metric Bomb page for the explosive power of the bomb that is required to blow up a star like the sun.

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/49fe3e605d052

Thanks!

Todd
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(10-09-2017, 09:20 AM)Vaktus Wrote: Fixes are in bold, removed is strikedthrough.

These have all been fixed and a few additional tweaks made as well.

Thanks!

Todd
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(10-09-2017, 07:21 PM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/xcms.php?r=oa-p...=gen_canon

At on point the OA project included these
should be
At one point the OA project included these

populace. from the perspective
should be
populace, from the perspective
--------
http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4817d1b2d28bf
Wilds, The

because they two are constantly expanding
should be
because they too are constantly expanding

FixedSmile
Reply
(10-26-2017, 03:18 PM)Crossroads Wrote: From Solarism:

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4840bd7ef0607

The bottom two fictional references date from years yet future from the EG in the AT calendar.

FixedSmile
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(10-29-2017, 08:33 PM)selden Wrote: http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4a53a8f690f09
Toposophic Level and Brain Size

Some possessives are missing their apostrophes:

¶ What is the entity's origin?

capabilities of the sophonts processing substrate
should be
capabilities of the sophont's processing substrate

depending on the sophonts S-level.
should be
depending on the sophont's S-level.

____

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/484737879bb05
Matrioshka Hypernode

worrisome possibilities, include that the
should be
worrisome possibilities, including that the

____

http://www.orionsarm.com/eg-article/4d34df9b7611e
Slow Gods and Fast Gods

Some gods are slow to conserve energy;
is ambiguous
( For some reason I first read it as meaning something like
Some gods are slow to adopt the idea that they should conserve energy; )

It might be better as
Some gods run slowly in order to conserve energy;

All fixed Smile
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